Condoms (aged 21)

I’ve (almost) never used condoms.

I guess there may have been times I should have used condoms. I didn’t know a one-night stand’s sexual past. I was leaving myself open to all manner of STIs.

But gonorrhoea, the most prevalent STI (previously STD or venereal disease) could be cured easily at the local hospital. If you did contract it, you could be cured within weeks.

This was 1987. I’m 21. And AIDS is a ‘gay disease’ back then. I, a heterosexual female, am not about to be killed by a ‘gay plague’.

It was the year Princess Diana took it to the forefront of the UK by shaking hands, without gloves, with AIDS patients. The year the UK government launched a ‘Don’t die of ignorance’ campaign to warn people of the risks. But despite all this, AIDS was still a ‘gay’ disease.

Of course, I’m living in Brighton, possibly the gay capital of the UK (Manchester might refute this). And all of a sudden I’m hearing that a friend of a friend has contracted AIDS, or had died from it. Every other week.

We often think we live in a period of medical stasis, that there’s ‘no new cure-all antibiotic’ and some sort of medical resistant strain of flu is around the corner. But if we examine the manner in which AIDS has been dealt with from then until now, a period of thirty years, we can see that medicine continues to advance.


The Aero’s cock in SL offers a condom option, and while it’s entirely immaterial in the context of SL it’s a valid reminder to practice safe sex.

In 35 years of having an active sex life I’ve had two condoms in me. Once, at his request. He didn’t know my sexual past (fair enough) and was confident enough to say it. We still fucked, though. The second was at my request. Intuition told me to demand he wore one. Don’t know why. I’ve never had that feeling before or since. Condoms are awful, in the sense of diminishing that moment. But sometimes they’re preferable.

I’ve never contracted an STI. But I was lucky. Always use intuition regarding sexual partners and even if it’s like ‘washing your feet with your socks on’ as a male friend once told me, it’s better than an STI.

I still carry a packet with me, in case he doesn’t have any and we’re getting down and dirty. Never be afraid to ask someone to wear one.


Cumming of age (age 20)

I’ve galloped through a lot of my experiences so far and haven’t felt the need to be overly literary in how I’ve described it. There are few ways to make a loss of virginity sound sensual. It’s quick, it’s messy, sometimes painful and other than being memorable as ‘the first time’, we all remember our first time, fairly unremarkable in terms of satisfaction.

We don’t remember when we began masturbating or how it made us feel then.

Sometime it’s hard to remember sex at all even with longer-term lovers. We know we did it, but the memories of the sex fade. Unless there has been some spectacular setting for sex we forget most of it that took place.

So to that end I’ve glossed over things so far.

But as the previous Christmas had come and gone Jude and I pledged to buy each other journals in which to record our lives, and sex lives in particular. It started as ‘a laugh’ where we’d spend the following Christmas holidays re-reading them and telling each other the juiciest bits. I’m glad we made that pledge, because I’ve kept a diary ever since. 32 years worth of salacious memories.

And so this is where I can really dig into my past and recall everything.

As a result I can also describe events in a much more literary manner.

The diaries also coincide with the way my life became more interesting, sexually as well as in other directions.

LL cum_001b

By this stage in life I’ve had quite a few cocks in my mouth, but when the guy involved reached that moment, I’d withdraw and aim his cock somewhere else. There’s something glorious about the eruption of a man’s cock.

One of the tragedies of life is that you can’t feel his cum whoosh up your pussy while watching it explode at the same time. There’ve been times when I was aching for cock inside me, but have foregone it just to watch the man’s face and cock at the same time.

While I’d been drenched in the stuff up until now, I’d never swallowed. Some women need to be cajoled into taking a load in their mouths and swallowing. I was one of those women too. But on Sunday, April 19th, 1986, I recorded in my diary that I’d made a conscious decision to give a man a blow job, and swallow. The fella in question was Robert (no other details about him are recorded and I while I can picture his face I’ve no recollection of how his cock was for size nowadays).

LL cumface_001b

I could feel the moment ‘cumming’ 😉 and almost withdrew my mouth before remembering why I was here. Robert would have been disappointed. I’d told him a fuck was out of the question that night, but a blow job was a nailed-on certainty.

Guys are liable to be disappointed if sex is out of the question, but they soon cheer up if they know they’re guaranteed a blow job.

It was a strange sensation, but I didn’t gag on it, and swallowed hard. Still, I did manage to taste his cum on my tongue and rather liked the taste. Not all cum tastes the same, as I later found out, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Since then, whenever opportunity has arisen, Ive always swallowed every drop.

And thus another one on my sexual bucket list was ticked off. What would be next?






My 20th birthday (aged 20)

OK…this sounds terrible, but on my 20th birthday Jude and I went out for a meal. Of course we had too much to drink, we often did!

So we’re talking about sex, as we often did, and Jude decides to count up the number of lovers she’s had up to this point.

jude and LL meal3_001b

She can remember 18 names ‘and more than that one night stands. It must be over forty by now. God, it makes me sound like a slut. The thing is I’m only applying the same moral standards as a man and he’s judged as a stud. Double standards. But the figure’s over forty. I wonder how many ten years from now, hahaha, I’ll be in three figures by then!’

I start to do the same count in my head.

Just, remember, was three years older than me and started earlier (losing her virginity aged just 15, something I’d never have contemplated or even been mature enough to contemplate).

So I count. And try to leave out guys like Marcus, who I only gave a hand job to. But even in the space of four years it’s hard to say what I did with whom. This kind of appals me for a moment. I can’t differentiate between the hand jobs, the blow jobs and full intercourse! :-O

Wine is flowing, minds aren’t focused, and I eventually begin to write names (or recollections if names can’t be remembered) and divide them up into separate columns. The hand jobs (four), the blow jobs (seventeen names I can recall!!!) and the penetrative sex.

I calculate that since losing my virginity to Duncan less than three years previously I’ve had ‘around’ twenty sexual partners, mostly one-night stands with some of them such as Duncan, Huw and James being longer term relationships.

‘Around 20’. For penetrative sex. I, too, sounded like a ‘slut’.

LL Jude meal_001b

If I add in the separate blow jobs and hand jobs, I reckoned at that point there would have been about 30-35 fellas I’d have had some sort of sexual experience with.


First black lover (aged 19)

Before, I’d have danced with guys, talked to them for an evening and then we’d have had sex.

This was different. He arrived, undressed, was already semi-hard when he slipped his beautiful huge cock out of his underpants and instructed me to suck. What else should a girl do? 🙂

Not that I got long at it. What was already semi-hard was stiff in a minute or so, he pulled away and we got down to some missionary position sex.

It was what we were both there for, but disappointing in the end. My first one night stand, I suppose, and it didn’t feel like it was satisfying enough. I’d have preferred a bit more foreplay to have been involved.

That didn’t put me off, though. In fact, I almost treated it like a challenge, to see if I could have satisfying one-night stand sex.

I learned I could, and did. Quite often in the months ahead. None are particularly stand out. Sometimes I came, sometimes we both did, sometimes it was merely OK, sometimes it was mind-blowing. But I learned that one-night stand sex isn’t overly satisfying. Sometimes it takes a while to get into it with a partner, know what each of you like and react accordingly. Then it gets to be consistently good.


A new flat (aged 19)

I’d quickly made a couple of steps up the work ladder. More through replacement than any brilliance on my part, but each step saw a little more in my salary, to the point where  I could afford to think about moving out of a squalid looking flat shared with two guys with no real house training, and into something better.

I found myself answering an advert for a flat share with one woman, who turned out to be Jude.

Jude was older than me, 22, and was a bit ‘out there’ in how she lived life.

Judy was part of the Brighton ‘counter culture’. It’s a place that has always embraced those on the edge of society, making it a perfect home for all sorts of creative types.

She worked in an independent bookshop, and had something of a modern hippy about her, despite dressing like a punk.

Or not dressing at all.

The flat was fantastic, far better than I was used to, and I had a large, spacious bedroom as opposed to a box room I’d previously occupied.

Judy liked to be naked, when possible. She slept naked, and would get up in the morning and make breakfast fully nude. She’d go for a bath and walk between her bedroom and the bathroom totally nude too.

She also had a tattoo and her nipples and clit had been pierced. She was also fully shaved  around her pussy, all things I’d never seen on a woman or man before.

When I’d go for a bath, Jude would maybe come in, certainly in the summer, and be stripped off for the evening. She’d use the loo, then sit on the edge of the bath and talk.

jude and LL_001b

All this on the second night I was there!

At first I thought she was maybe a lesbian and sort of flirting with me, but within a short while I came to realise this was just her. And far from being a lesbian, loved cock as much as I did.

The first time I took a bath she looked down at me and tutted her disapproval. You want to get rid of the bush, sweetie. Guys don’t like hair in their mouths!’

She stood up and ran a hand over her smooth, bare pussy. ‘This’, she said triumphantly, ‘is the future of pussy!’

I didn’t quite believe it.

Within a month, though, I joined the ranks of the bare 🙂

I was shaving my legs one night and simply continued northwards, lol.

I liked how it looked and felt. It was, back then, something a little out of the ordinary.

And within that month I’d cut back on the sex, limiting it to staying with James rather than bring him back, until such time as I had sussed Jude out.

And within that month I’d found out Jude didn’t do relationships, she just did men. One night stands were her thing. No-strings sex.

And I found that out when I came home early one afternoon because of severe menstrual cramps, to find Jude sucking off a gorgeous looking black guy.

I sort of burst in on them, stammered an excuse and went up to my room. Jude and the black guy didn’t care. I could hear them fucking wildly in the lounge for most of the afternoon.

Later that evening the guy had left, Jude and I sat talking.

‘He wanted me to invite you for a threesome. Ever had a threesome?’


‘Ever had a black guy?’


‘Want to try either?’

‘Yes’ The word was out of my mouth before I had even processed the thought.

‘If I’d asked, would you have joined us?’

‘I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it much’. I sort of lied. I’d managed to slip a dildo into a sopping wet pussy and cum a couple of times just listening to them fuck.

”Did you like him?’

‘From what I could see of what you hadn’t swallowed, he had an enormous cock’.

‘I know. It was gorgeous. I’ve kept his number, though. Fancy fucking him? Or the three of us..?’

‘Not sure about a threesome yet. But…’

‘I’ll call him. If he’s into you, you can experience that gorgeous cock for yourself’


My life in five shirts (aged 18)

LL shirt 1_001b

So, aged 18, my life can be pretty much summoned up in five shirts. Yes, curiosity did kill my virginity, and I probably wish I’d started earlier than I had. Despite me saying that it was beneficial in the end, I still look back with a tinge of regret I didn’t have even more cock than I’ve had.

LL shirt 2_001b

And once I’d discovered guys going down on me, I was hooked on oral (receiving). I do also like to give it.

LL shirt 3_001b

Yep, it was said now and again. It couldn’t have been anything else back then 😉

LL shirt 4_001b

Every time someone introduced me to something new, I’d try it. And generally found I loved it. Perverted? I don’t think anything I’ve ever done I’ve regarded as perverted or kinky. All part of a healthy sexual appetite.

LL shirt 5_001b

Oh yeah. I love cock. I still do.

Wild Part 2

…but…it still wasn’t enough.

I loved sex, but there never seemed to be ‘a limit’ to it.

Huw was fucking me.  Duncan was fucking me. And eventually James (story yet to be told) was fucking me.

All in the space of a week. Every week.

And it wasn’t enough.